Do you know one of those REALLY good movies you saw, but when you try and tell your friends about it, it just ends up sounding dumb? They kind of look at you like..."you really thought that was a good movie?" That's how stories about the gymnastics certification are going to be. My apologies in advance.

I can't even describe the fun weekend had. Jeff Tucker is more than could possibly be expected. He's an amazing coach, and he inspires people to push themselves farther than they think possible. His methods of coaching are so simple that even the most novice individual could learn the movement quickly and develop good form. But at the same time, even the very athletically gifted are challenged. There is no doubt in my mind that I am a better CrossFitter and a better coach after spending the weekend with Jeff Tucker.

I think it's a fair assessment that we had a GREAT group of people at our certification. We were on the small end for a cert, but I can say with absolute certainty that I would not have gotten as much out of this cert if there were 10 more people there. We had about 15 people, and Tucker was able to go hands on with each person for damn near every single movement we were learning. When you're talking about getting a room full of adults upside down, suspended from bars and pushing the limits of their abilities, it takes a certain amount of trust to do that. From the moment the cert started, I think all of us trusted Tucker. We trusted his spotting, his coaching and his knowledge.

I learned a lot this weekend, and it goes far beyond just learning how to do handstand pushups and back levers....here are the things I learned this weekend:

1. People from Texas say "damn" a lot. I have at least doubled the frequency of the use of the word "damn" in normal conversation after spending 2 days with Tucker.
2. No matter how sneaky you think you can be, Tucker will ALWAYS catch you for not wrapping your thumb around the damn bar.
3. Your extra supportive sports bra is your best friend if you are going to be upside down in a room full of men.
4. If you are spotting a handstand press, and you don't get your head out of the way, you end up scissored between Kelly Moore's legs as if she has a damn G-string full of dollar bills and was twirling on a pole at your bachelor party. Pervert.
5. "Free bleeding" is discouraged, and will require that you stick a tampon in your nose if you want to keep participating in Jeff Tucker's damn certification.
6. If you're going to take a two handed grab of someone's ass when they're upside down, DON'T chalk up like a maniac beforehand. Chalk leaves evidence. Enough said.
7. If you have a "well developed posterior chain" (thanks Brian Mac), it will be difficult to skin the damn cat without someone's hand shoving your big butt through for you. Thanks to everyone who volunteered by the way.
8. In order to properly spot someone, you need to be "all up on their bacon".
9. After 2 days of playing "let's be upside down" your body will hurt like you're a 90 year old woman.